Awhile back I received this comment from an aspiring educator in an alternative sexuality community:
“I can’t believe people don’t (teach workshops) for free. Maybe one day I’ll be a big hit and can start charging people to just see me. Nothing like selling out… I don’t see the sense in it above transportation, lodging, food. Love is free, right?”
Sadly, this isn’t an uncommon view toward “lifestyle” educators, and I just have to wonder… would these same people argue that school teachers, professors, therapists, doctors, or any helping profession will teach for free if they love what they do? Or that they should be pressured to give it away for the good of society?
The best of them have spent years–and a boatload of money–to acquire their knowledge and skills, and have already given until it hurts.
These people have financial obligations, families, and limited time. The best of them have spent years–and a boatload of money–to acquire their knowledge and skills, and have already given until it hurts. They are usually generous to a fault.
But when they’re depleted, we are all depleted. We suck them dry, criticize if they charge more than a pittance, and then wonder where all the good ones go.
Why is it “selling out” to earn money for teaching about sex and relationships? If you’ve asked for and received something of value, why the reluctance to give something of equal value back to those who provided it? (And if you don’t think the experience has value, why are you wasting your time there?)
“…people will pay $250 for a custom whip and then bitch about spending $25 to learn to use it.”
A seasoned BDSM educator once told me, “people will pay $250 for a custom whip and then bitch about spending $25 to learn to use it.” He’s right. I still don’t get it.
Yes, there is an abundance of free information on the internet. You can learn without spending a dime, if you have more time than money (or enough money to have plenty of time) and know how to sift the gold from the bullshit.
Sexuality educators provide focused, distilled expertise in a short period of time, along with personalized answers and guidance.
Sexuality educators provide focused, distilled expertise in a short period of time, along with personalized answers and guidance. The good ones continue to invest time and money in learning to teach well and expanding their knowledge and skills.
The net result for those fortunate enough to learn from them is increased knowledge, a richer sex life, safer play, and a whole lot of saved time (leaving more time for fun!) Paying those educators money in return is a fair exchange.
Quality educators can’t keep teaching if they can’t stay afloat. As we used to say in the development biz, “no money, no mission.” Like any service, your options for advanced learning about adult sexuality will offer some combination of three basic qualities–great, cheap, or convenient. At best you’ll get two. It’s unrealistic to demand all three.